


im not a crackhead in love i promise

by AltheaLynn



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, M/M, Mostly Dialogue, but anyway they just talking about stuff, i'd say dialogue only but that's a lie, post battle at the valley of the end, rated for Naruto and Sasuke because they are teenage boys and have appropriately dirty mouths, since they can't really do much else til Sakura gets there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-20 17:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21060092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AltheaLynn/pseuds/AltheaLynn
Summary: "Laying on a slab of rock, blood pooling around them, Naruto and Sasuke took a moment to look back and reflect on their shared history and how they got to where they were."Based sorta off a tumblr post I can no longer find, but basically they're just wasting time until they bleed out or someone comes by and fixes them up.





	im not a crackhead in love i promise

Laying on a slab of rock, blood pooling around them, Naruto and Sasuke took a moment to look back and reflect on their shared history and how they got to where they were. After slipping in and out of consciousness for an unknown amount of time, Sasuke broke the silence surprising Naruto.

"Can you believe we could have turned out worse than this?"

"Teme, we both lost our dominant arms and are currently bleeding out after trying to kill each other for who knows how long. How could we have turned out worse than this?"

"You know I brought back the Hokage to ask them questions and then brought them to help with the war right?"

"Yeah. Thanks by the way, it was nice to see my dad again. I met him once when the village was destroyed but it wasn't really him, it was just a chakra impression locked in my Kyuubi seal. Anyway, the Hokage?"

"I asked Hashirama what the village was and what it means to be a shinobi. Instead of giving me a straight answer, motherfucker told me his life story: meeting Madara, befriending Madara, fighting Madara, eventually making the village with Madara, fighting him again and finally killing him. Apparently his life revolved around Madara."

"See, we're already better than our last incarnations. At least we're not going to kill each other, dattebayo. This was our last ditch attempt and we're still kicking." Naruto tactfully did not mention that arguably the last five or so years of his life were dedicated to Sasuke and bringing him back to the Leaf and before that he tried at every opportunity to prove himself to his teammate.

"Yeah but that's not even what I was talking about. Before the village the Senju and Uchiha fought for ages, so long no one knew what they were fighting over anymore and only continued for revenge. In one of these battles Tobirama killed Madara's last living brother, Izuna. The fight after that Madara had Izuna's eyes and the Eternal Mangekyo. He and Hashirama fought until Madara fell. Tobirama wanted to kill Madara but Hashirama still clung to their dream of peace and begged Madara for an option that would let them have the village. Motherfucker straight up told Hashirama to either kill Tobirama -his own final brother- or himself. And then, Motherfucker number two _thanked_ him for the option to keep his brother safe, took off his own armor and told his brother and his clanmates to not take revenge against Madara."

"What the fuck?"

"I know right?"

"That's fucked up. What happened next?"

"Then Hashirama took a kunai and was about to gut himself seppuku style - while still standing over Madara, which super gross if you ask me, imagine someone disemboweling themselves right on top of you - when Madara just lunged up to grab the kunai and said never mind."

"Really?"

"It was more of an 'I know for certain what's in you heart based on your actions so you don't actually need to kill yourself' but basically."

"Wow."

"Yeah, they were like the original crackheads in love."

"They were in love?"

"I can't say anything about Madara, but Hashirama? Definitely. He may not have been aware, but he certainly was. He called Madara a gift from the divine. Wait, Madara probably loved him back. He got his Sharingan when he was forced to choose between his family and his friendship with Hashirama."

"That's gay."

"That's very gay."

The conversation lulled as both didn't have anything left to say. After a few minutes Sakura showed up to round out the original team 7. Taking in their injuries she started healing what was left of their arms.

"Oh thank the Sage you two morons are still alive. If I heal you are you going to try to continue this stupid fight or are you going to let everyone out of the genjutsu that's slowly killing them since you _ran off to kill each other before finishing the damn war?_"

"We'll fix everything, dattebayo! We're not crackheads in love!"

"…I'm not even going to ask. I'm tired and I don't care. Shut up and let me heal you."

"Naruto."

"Yeah Sasuke?"

"If you ever call me a gift of from the divine I'll kill you."

"Just so long as you don't ask me to kill myself for the village."

"Do you two like the arms you still have? Cause I can get rid of them if they're in your way."

"Shutting up now, thank you for healing us Sakura. You are and always have been the best member of this team, dattebayo."

"You're damn right I am."


End file.
